Mainly because I don't skate anymore, but whatever. I don't have anywhere to post my writing for critique but here.

This one is called "Hymn to a Deaf Man"

I could walk on eggshells all day long,
Without anywhere to go,
I could have something to fall upon,
But where I'll fall, I just won't know.
And if you tell me when or where,
I don't know if I'll hear,
Because the trust just isn't there,
And I know you're not near.

When the day comes,
Who will know where we'll fly,
The crash from above,
Will tell us if we live or die.

Yeah, I know we haven't talked in a while,
But it's been so hard,
All these things are starting to pile,
And turning to you isn't where I'd like to start.
Now I'm not saying I don't want you here,
I'm only saying I can't feel you near,
I'm only saying what I thought was clear,
I'm only saying what I wish you'd hear.

When the day comes,
Who will know where we'll fly,
The crash from above,
Will tell us if we live or die.
When the day comes,
Don't let my mother cry,
If only I could reach so high,
Oh God, I'll try, I swear I'll try.

well welcome back and nice writing.

I came to the poetry section thinking i finally got a reply to my poems but to my surprise your back which is tight haha
I really like the simplicity of your writing.
Its flows so smoothly...because its just really mellow and calm. I will fersure tune into some more of your work.

www.deviantART.com

You can get critique there.

it's great!
it was very personal, but very understandable too, i found relation in whatever you were talking about! lol.

Thanks for the feedback guys, glad to see my work is appreciated by at least a few people.

Hey! It's good to see you here again. You write interesting stuff.

The first stanza was a little akward to me. And, though this is just a personal taste of mine, I don't like the use of 'unsure' words. Like:

"I don't know if i'll hear."
"Who will know where we'll fly."

But that is just me.

Overall, it's interesting. But I must say I liked your previous ones more.

Hey! It's good to see you here again. You write interesting stuff.

The first stanza was a little akward to me. And, though this is just a personal taste of mine, I don't like the use of 'unsure' words. Like:

"I don't know if i'll hear."
"Who will know where we'll fly."

But that is just me.

Overall, it's interesting. But I must say I liked your previous ones more.
No worries bro, so do I. I was just really in the mood to write something and this is what came out in about three minutes. I'm going to revise though, I'll probably repost when I'm done. Thanks

Thank god. It's been boring without you bro.

Great poem as always.

that was really good.
your writing is really smooth and has a good flow to it.
good work :)

Thank god. It's been boring without you bro.

Great poem as always.
Yeah I missed you too pal.