View Full Version : Harry Potter Replacing wand with wang

01-08-2009, 09:07 PM
Ah ah ah, JK Rowling has a dirty mind. This stuff is hilarious. Got it from bash.org

<JonJonB> Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book
<JonJonB> Let's see the results...

<JonJonB> "Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
<JonJonB> "Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything

<JonJonB> A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.

<JonJonB> "Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work."
<JonJonB> "Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. "

<JonJonB> Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls

<JonJonB> "Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"

<JonJonB> The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.

<JonJonB> He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.

<JonJonB> He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.

<JonJonB> Ok
<JonJonB> I have found, definitive proof
<JonJonB> that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all
<JonJonB> "Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he?
<melusine > O_______O
<JonJonB> Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang

<JonJonJonB> Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.

<JonJonJonB> 'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.

Jordan G
01-08-2009, 09:09 PM
hahahaha. thats pure genius

01-08-2009, 09:14 PM
Haha. That is so awesome.

01-08-2009, 09:15 PM
They have so many great quotes there look

<MooseOnDaLoose> Hey Mike
<goatboy> what?
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> er?
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> and?
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> ...
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> i dont get it
<goatboy> bastard

<_kr4m3r> so many ****ing criminals, its bull****
<foniks`> heh, if we sent all the criminals to some empty continent and just left them there to die
<foniks`> and showed up like 50yrs later like, "sup?"
<foniks`> whatd u think they'd say?
<FoSZoR[bg]> something along the lines of, "G`Day mate"

01-08-2009, 10:43 PM
HAHAHAHA! I grabbed Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets which was on the desk next to me, and flipped to a random page. This is what I see (replacing wand with wang).

"He raised his own wang, attempted a complicated sort of wiggling action, and dropped it. Snape smirked as Lockhard quickly picked it up, saying, "Whoops --- my wang is a little overexcited ---"

01-09-2009, 03:27 PM

01-09-2009, 04:10 PM
Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire:
'So,' said Mr Diggory, his eyes hardening as he turned to look at Winky again, cowering at his feet. 'You found this wang, eh, elf? And you picked it up and thought you'd have some fun with it, did you?And on the next page:
'You've been caught red-handed, elf!' Mr Diggory roared. 'Caught with the guilty wang in your hand!'Classic!

01-09-2009, 04:33 PM
omg this thread is great. hahaha i cant believe rowling herself though of that hahaha. these self found ones are great too

Max Kulish.
01-09-2009, 04:36 PM
thats great.

Jay Santos
01-09-2009, 05:19 PM
Hahahaha,this thread is pure win.

01-09-2009, 06:12 PM
"<wangsta`> damnit
<wangsta`> how the **** do i turn that off
<wangsta`> everytime someone pastes a link it pops up
<@Ele|HW> oh?
<@Ele|HW> http://www.xxxxx.cx
<wangsta`> I ****ING HATE YOU"

You don't want to see what the link was.

01-09-2009, 06:48 PM
From Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows:

Pg. 655

Voldemort had halted, and Harry could see him plainly again as he slid the Elder Wang through his white fingers, staring at Snape

Pg. 704

Harry could feel his wang against his chest, but he made no attempt to draw it. He knew that the snake was too well protected, knew that if he managed to point the wang at at Nagini, fifty curses would hit him first.

Pg. 722

Harry: "Voldemort's got the Elder Wang."
"Dead" Dumbledore: "True, Voldemort has the Elder Wang."