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  1. #1
    Sail Hatan.
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    Default Post some funny facebook statuses

    This thread is on SBC and it has quite a few funny posts, so why not bring it here.
    Ill start us out with some hypocrisy.

    Girl 1: And I like how you just trynna get in wat I'm saying when it ain't yo status or comment either aww ok.

    Girl 2: ‎*your not yo , and if your going to use yo' at least put an apostraphe.

    Me: *You're. Not your.

  2. #2
    Dr. Ska-Ctopus
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    "just got home from work i am so tierd i think i need a gf to have sex with yo make me not tierd."

    "I wish my love life was batter."

    "who like this prass like so me some love"

    "For anyone i work of i never been to jail ok"

    "at home with the dog i will be do the same for Thanksgiving just me and my do home alone"

    All of them are the same kid, I look at his page every so often for a laugh. He isn't mentally handicapped, by the way, just very stupid.
    Check out the Official Longboarding Thread: http://www.skaterscafe.com/showthread.php?t=108102

    Quote Originally Posted by SkateboardG View Post
    Only a couple of us can fly, R-Kelly & Michael Jordan in his prime.


  3. #3
    Sail Hatan.
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    "i cnt believe i fell for the exact same thing again!!!! i really just wana scream right now! UGGHHH!!!!!!!! tht didnt help but jeez. this is the last time i do tht again. should have listened to *some ******. u were right sis. sorry i didnt believe u. from now on i give up everything"

    Nearly every one of his statuses is depressing and sad. Dudes like 14, and he posts a couple times a week about how terrible love is and how depressed he is.

  4. #4
    DAYMAN Bandeanies's Avatar
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    http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?...997086&sk=wall
    Mutual friend, dumbest creepiest **** ever.

    "Just got called by tha police cause my friend whos a girl drove my car n nw i have to court while talkin to aaron n he was in tha back seat doin drivebyes"

    "To everyone who gave a **** bout me im sorry i hate my life 2 much n am goin to go kill myself fkn bye"

    "I dare any girl to inbox me bet i wnt even get one "

    "Wanna go kill myself cause i dnt have tha one i love n care bout in my life @samantha bunker any objections comment otherwise bye 4eva ppl :,( </3"

    "Weird moment wen ur mate whos a renovater walks in witout his shirt on n u cnt stop lookin at him n thinkin dam i wish tht was me haha"

    music i like http://www.last.fm/user/phenga
    Tree House Fun Club

  5. #5
    Sail Hatan.
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    Seems he killed himself back in October, so he must be a zombie or some ****.

  6. #6
    DAYMAN Bandeanies's Avatar
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    Died twice in October

    music i like http://www.last.fm/user/phenga
    Tree House Fun Club

  7. #7
    Remember JHH.
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    These are quite unfunny for supposedly funny facebook statuses.

    The funniest facebook statuses I read are generally from 303boards, my boyfriend, Shortys_Kid and Dr. Feelgood. And yes in that exact order.



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    Metalhead. Skeeter's Avatar
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    "MY CAT RAPS.
    His name?
    Wiska lifa."
    Keep it Metal

    How to Hardflip
    Skeeting all day erryday

  9. #9
    Nameless
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    "Men for some reason all day today i just felled like sleeping and wanted to stay in bed........ but in stand i got up and keep'd trying to ignore sleep.. :\"

    "Who likes it when they're body falls asleep?? *"

    "Arterial Blood Gases don't hurt as bad at people may seem... just gotta make sure they don't hit the nerve hahaha"
    The last man on earth was sitting in his living room when he heard a knock at the door...

  10. #10
    DAYMAN Bandeanies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trebor View Post
    "Men for some reason all day today i just felled like sleeping and wanted to stay in bed........ but in stand i got up and keep'd trying to ignore sleep.. :\"

    "Who likes it when they're body falls asleep?? *"

    "Arterial Blood Gases don't hurt as bad at people may seem... just gotta make sure they don't hit the nerve hahaha"

    music i like http://www.last.fm/user/phenga
    Tree House Fun Club

  11. #11
    LeftLaneClosed
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    FML IT AUTOMATICALLY GAVE ME TIMELINE!!!

    A: serious? lol
    Thursday at 11:22pm · Like

    B: Yes
    Thursday at 11:23pm · Like · 1

    B: I hate this, it makes no sense
    Thursday at 11:23pm · Like · 2

    A: HAHAHHA, yeah i hate timeline. it's kinda **** oh well,
    Thursday at 11:23pm · Like

    C: You don't even have a time line to me
    Thursday at 11:25pm · Like

    K: LOL YOU DONT
    Thursday at 11:25pm · Like

    B: I do to me, it's annoying
    Thursday at 11:25pm · Like

    K: YOU DONT
    Thursday at 11:25pm · Like

    B: Yay
    Thursday at 11:25pm · Like

    C: ha , ***** yo life
    Thursday at 11:25pm · Like

    B: I know right?
    Thursday at 11:25pm · Like

    K:r FYL
    Thursday at 11:26pm · Like

    B: Fml
    Thursday at 11:26pm · Like

    C: This is the first status I've seen you made , wow

  12. #12
    Scrubs Nerd
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bragas View Post
    These are quite unfunny for supposedly funny facebook statuses.

    The funniest facebook statuses I read are generally from 303boards, my boyfriend, Shortys_Kid and Dr. Feelgood. And yes in that exact order.
    Dylan is hilarious, I wonder where he comes up with his stuff haha.

  13. #13
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    Friend Posted this status. Can't find the picture though. "Ayo Dawg, Dis Flaka" Dog: "Ayo Flaka ,Dis Dawg"


    Skating Is Good

  14. #14
    Escapist
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    "I tried to log in on my iPad. Turns out it was an Etch A Sketch and I don't even own an iPad.

    Also, I'm out of vodka"

  15. #15
    blah blah blah
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    I thought this was "post some funny facebook statuses" thread, not "post statuses made by weird kids you don't like, which aren't funny in the slightest".

  16. #16
    Oh.My.GLOB
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    it is easy to get those 2 things confused especially as they are so similar.
    "Hail Caesarean"

  17. #17
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    One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and too stubborn to ask for directions.
    When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?
    I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
    sometimes, not remembering mey be the better.
    X says my computer just beat me at chess…but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
    X is color blind and trying to solve a rubiks cube… This could take a while.
    X is the girl next door…if you live next door to a whore house.
    What is fat, ginger and pregnant? Nothing..
    slept like a baby last night…. Waking up every 3 hours crying for food.
    wanted to kill the sexiest person alive…But suicide’s a crime.
    X is proud of herself. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.
    People say that love is in every corner……gosh! maybe i’m moving in circles..
    Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when somebody across the table is reading it?
    Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
    WARNING: Objects in mirror are fatter than they appear.
    ║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║█║▌│║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║ *ZAP* *BEEP* Price: $7.95
    Dear Santa, let me explain…
    I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me. She calls me her sixty second lover.
    My wife said I’m too immature and if I don’t grow up it’s going to erect a barrier between us. Ha ha ha, erect.
    If guys had periods, they’d brag about the size of their tampons.
    Make love, not war. Hell, do both. Get married.
    Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
    Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.
    Statistically 5/4 of people have trouble with fractions.
    ٩(•̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃-̃)۶ ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃•̃)۶
    _̴ı̴̴̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡*̡̡ ̴̡ı̴̴̡ ̡̡͡|̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲▫̲͡ ̲̲̲͡͡π̲̲͡͡ ̲̲͡▫̲̲͡͡ ̲|̡̡̡ ̡ ̴̡ı̴̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡
    if only life came with a ◄◄ REW ► PLAY ▌▌PAUSE █▌STOP
    scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal today’s status.
    ̿̿̿ ̿’ ̿’̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ this is a stick-up… give me ALL yo [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅1̲̅)̲̅$̲̅]!
    Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face.
    The only place you find success before work is in the dictionary.
    Boys are like baby diapers when they get to be filled with **** they are thrown to be replaced.
    i’ve yet to meet a woman who got pregnant from swallowing.
    Cut here —————–✄———————-
    Me and my wife are inseparable. Sometimes, it takes three or four people to pull us apart.
    I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
    People who write diet books live off the fat of the land.
    Dance like no one’s going to put it on YouTube.
    Doctors waiting room needs some music. And better lighting. And more women. And a pole in the middle of the room. And a buffet.
    Best Friends Listen to what you dont say.
    Just wanted to let you know that you are my BFBFF… Best Facebook Friend Forever..
    So many stupid people, and so few asteroids.
    X thinks that Facebook is the compost heap for my brain.
    Yes, I know how to shut up. I just don’t know when.
    You miss 100 percent of the shots u never take.
    Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhhhh its a secret.
    I use to be great at wordplay. Once a pun a time.
    Sometimes? Late at night? I rearrange traffic signs. People need to be challenged.
    I guess if you spoke your mind, you’d be speechless, huh?
    X thinks that 100-calorie packs have just enough cookies to piss me off!!
    Alcohol does NOT make you fat…it makes you lean…against tables,chairs,walls, floors and ….Ugly people!!!
    what has two ears and cant hear? —————–.> GRANDPA
    I’m not a racer….But i can fly.
    press the star below and watch it glow
    ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ click star then up arrow to left to reveal status.
    I thinks my neighbor just caught me stealing his Wi-Fi internet.
    Teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant.
    X is wondering why Facebook bothers to give the option of “liking” my own comment? Of course I like my own comments. I’m awesome..
    Every day, man is making bigger and better fool-proof things, and every day, nature is making bigger and better fools. So far, I think nature is winning.

  18. #18
    syrup sipper
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    ^not funny
    Back 3 kickflip?

    I'm in the 550 ballin, you know
    If you high like the sky I'm above pluto

  19. #19
    Dr. Ska-Ctopus
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bragas View Post
    These are quite unfunny for supposedly funny facebook statuses.

    The funniest facebook statuses I read are generally from 303boards, my boyfriend, Shortys_Kid and Dr. Feelgood. And yes in that exact order.
    Then post them? I don't see the problem, considering everyone else's pale in comparison to the ones YOU could post.

    Quote Originally Posted by Reo View Post
    I thought this was "post some funny facebook statuses" thread, not "post statuses made by weird kids you don't like, which aren't funny in the slightest".
    Don't read the thread then? They don't have to be funny to you. I swear, this forum is a lot of complaining about nothing. Bring it to the random thoughts thread if you want to complain so badly.

    Last edited by TGIMUNDAY; 02-13-2012 at 03:40 PM.
    Check out the Official Longboarding Thread: http://www.skaterscafe.com/showthread.php?t=108102

    Quote Originally Posted by SkateboardG View Post
    Only a couple of us can fly, R-Kelly & Michael Jordan in his prime.


  20. #20
    HeelflipWhore discolemonade4's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RockenPunk View Post
    One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and too stubborn to ask for directions.
    When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?
    I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
    sometimes, not remembering mey be the better.
    X says my computer just beat me at chess…but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
    X is color blind and trying to solve a rubiks cube… This could take a while.
    X is the girl next door…if you live next door to a whore house.
    What is fat, ginger and pregnant? Nothing..
    slept like a baby last night…. Waking up every 3 hours crying for food.
    wanted to kill the sexiest person alive…But suicide’s a crime.
    X is proud of herself. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.
    People say that love is in every corner……gosh! maybe i’m moving in circles..
    Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when somebody across the table is reading it?
    Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
    WARNING: Objects in mirror are fatter than they appear.
    ║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║█║▌│║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║ *ZAP* *BEEP* Price: $7.95
    Dear Santa, let me explain…
    I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me. She calls me her sixty second lover.
    My wife said I’m too immature and if I don’t grow up it’s going to erect a barrier between us. Ha ha ha, erect.
    If guys had periods, they’d brag about the size of their tampons.
    Make love, not war. Hell, do both. Get married.
    Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
    Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.
    Statistically 5/4 of people have trouble with fractions.
    ٩(•̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃-̃)۶ ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃•̃)۶
    _̴ı̴̴̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡*̡̡ ̴̡ı̴̴̡ ̡̡͡|̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲▫̲͡ ̲̲̲͡͡π̲̲͡͡ ̲̲͡▫̲̲͡͡ ̲|̡̡̡ ̡ ̴̡ı̴̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡
    if only life came with a ◄◄ REW ► PLAY ▌▌PAUSE █▌STOP
    scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal today’s status.
    ̿̿̿ ̿’ ̿’̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ this is a stick-up… give me ALL yo [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅1̲̅)̲̅$̲̅]!
    Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face.
    The only place you find success before work is in the dictionary.
    Boys are like baby diapers when they get to be filled with **** they are thrown to be replaced.
    i’ve yet to meet a woman who got pregnant from swallowing.
    Cut here —————–✄———————-
    Me and my wife are inseparable. Sometimes, it takes three or four people to pull us apart.
    I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
    People who write diet books live off the fat of the land.
    Dance like no one’s going to put it on YouTube.
    Doctors waiting room needs some music. And better lighting. And more women. And a pole in the middle of the room. And a buffet.
    Best Friends Listen to what you dont say.
    Just wanted to let you know that you are my BFBFF… Best Facebook Friend Forever..
    So many stupid people, and so few asteroids.
    X thinks that Facebook is the compost heap for my brain.
    Yes, I know how to shut up. I just don’t know when.
    You miss 100 percent of the shots u never take.
    Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhhhh its a secret.
    I use to be great at wordplay. Once a pun a time.
    Sometimes? Late at night? I rearrange traffic signs. People need to be challenged.
    I guess if you spoke your mind, you’d be speechless, huh?
    X thinks that 100-calorie packs have just enough cookies to piss me off!!
    Alcohol does NOT make you fat…it makes you lean…against tables,chairs,walls, floors and ….Ugly people!!!
    what has two ears and cant hear? —————–.> GRANDPA
    I’m not a racer….But i can fly.
    press the star below and watch it glow
    ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ click star then up arrow to left to reveal status.
    I thinks my neighbor just caught me stealing his Wi-Fi internet.
    Teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant.
    X is wondering why Facebook bothers to give the option of “liking” my own comment? Of course I like my own comments. I’m awesome..
    Every day, man is making bigger and better fool-proof things, and every day, nature is making bigger and better fools. So far, I think nature is winning.
    I actually wasted a good 4 minutes of my life reading that...thanks rockenpunk....
    Kickflips and 360 flips are ****

    We were all off our faces on mushrooms when we recorded Plug In Baby... There was this big field next to the recording studio filled with them. So we ate them all. I don't know what we were doing, but we all ended up naked in a jacuzzi and I went deaf in one ear from falling asleep in the sauna... Matt Bellamy

    New line nearly https://www.facebook.com/#!/photo.ph...if_t=video_tag

    New Photo https://www.facebook.com/laurence.ev...type=1&theater

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