Post Your Random Poop, farts count too
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 28

Thread: Post Your Random Poop, farts count too

  1. #1
    Gravity Slave Moderator
    NoSwitch's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    The Bull City
    Posts
    10,927

    Default Post Your Random Poop, farts count too

    This Thread Dedicated to Lars Bensen.

    Last night at a Christmas party I are a cup cake with lots of bright green icing. Top of the morning, sure enough, LEPRECHAUN POO! Oh Ya!

  2. #2
    3459'20"N, 10636'52"W
    NightRocker's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Greater Toronto Area
    Posts
    2,499

    Default

    Whenever I eat beets I get red poop, I'll eat some peas, green cake icing and beats and get some Christmas themed shit!

  3. #3
    Active Member CrimsonGoalie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    GTA
    Posts
    311

    Default

    Friend and i were watching a soccer game on tv. He is laying on his side, lifts up his leg to rip a huge fart. Then confesses he shit himself...it was at his place fortunately.
    --

    This is the title track from our first album, Victim in Pain, the song's also called Victim in Pain.

    "ALWAYS SKATE AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!! ...please"
    Andy Roy

  4. #4
    Global Moderator
    ben_larsen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Virginia
    Age
    28
    Posts
    3,841

    Default

    OOOOH I've got some decent stories about this... I'll just post one today, my first one.

    This one is missing a lot of details because I was 5 maybe 6 but one day on the way to school I vaguely remember having that feeling in your stomach when you know that you need to shit but I was on the school bus, so I figured I might be able to let out a few farts until I get to school... nope. First "fart" just opened the flood gates and it flowed out hurricane Katrina style... So what are you going to do? embarrass yourself and tell someone or try and walk it off and make it home without anyone noticing. I chose plan B. Luckily Kindergarten is only half a day long so it was an achievable goal, I thought.

    The next few hours just aren't there in my memory, I guess I just sat in my own watery shit for a few hours and thought I was home free. Then we had snack time in the cafeteria about 2-3 hours after I first shit myself. I clearly remember walking through the cafeteria and watching my teachers face get that I-smell-shit face, she grabbed me and took me too the nurse. Again missing some details but next thing I remember is my mom coming into nurses bathroom with new clothes to clean me up.

    I've got 3 more decent shit stories that I will gladly share.

  5. #5
    evil vibes
    Coleman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Provo, UT
    Age
    27
    Posts
    5,855

    Default

    I pooped on the floor and spread it all over the walls when I was like 2 or 3 I also peed everywhere too
    Above the lakes, above the vales,
    The mountains and the woods, the clouds, the seas,
    Beyond the sun, beyond the ether,
    Beyond the confines of the starry spheres,
    My soul, you move with ease

  6. #6
    Gravity Slave Moderator
    NoSwitch's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    The Bull City
    Posts
    10,927

    Default

    Every summer I was a child we used to drive from Minnesota to Oklahoma for the summer vacation. About halfway through Iowa our mom started complaining about needing a bathroom... kept passing exits with a service station and turning off at ones with NOTHING. Finally, after she'd been literally crying she pulls off at another deserted one somewhere in Nebraska, runs from the car about three rows in to the corn and tears down her panty hose, squats, and blows all over the place. My sister and I were laughing hysterically! We teased her relentlessly for the remaining 10 hour trip

  7. #7
    Boss
    Andrew Jay's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    352 Fl
    Age
    31
    Posts
    6,786

    Default

    Got a new job doing construction - remodeling, etc. Working on a house with no running water out In bum fuh nowhere.
    Anyways Did work out In the woods today.
    Boob.
    - call me Aj.

    http://www.skaterscafe.com/showthread.php?t=68269 Feel free to share, those of you who actually skate.

    Quote Originally Posted by NoSwitch View Post
    You should invite AndrewJay over. Did he send you a yearbook portrait as well?
    Quote Originally Posted by NoSwitch View Post
    He sent me an envelop full of stickers for correctly guessing the final score of the SuperBowl in his contest thread. I was sitting at the dinner table with Mrs NoSwitch emptying out the envelope looking at the stickers and out drops his yearbook photo.. Wife's like "what the hell is that for??" So I sez "aww he probably just grabbed a handful of stuff out of a drawer not realizing the photo was also in there" cause that's what I really thought about it. A few days later he shoots me a PM asking me "what do you think?""
    Quote Originally Posted by Pathtek4 View Post
    If the rest room doesn't have that paper seat to pull off the wall, I just hover above like a Ufo dumping Cosby kids into Lake Michigan.

  8. #8
    Active Member CrimsonGoalie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    GTA
    Posts
    311

    Default

    I once told my then 5 year old brother i give him 50 cents if he can shit himself while running. He cheated. I gave him 50 cents from his own money. Mom made me wash his undies.
    --

    This is the title track from our first album, Victim in Pain, the song's also called Victim in Pain.

    "ALWAYS SKATE AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!! ...please"
    Andy Roy

  9. #9
    Boss
    Andrew Jay's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    352 Fl
    Age
    31
    Posts
    6,786

    Default

    ^ What the fuck.
    Boob.
    - call me Aj.

    http://www.skaterscafe.com/showthread.php?t=68269 Feel free to share, those of you who actually skate.

    Quote Originally Posted by NoSwitch View Post
    You should invite AndrewJay over. Did he send you a yearbook portrait as well?
    Quote Originally Posted by NoSwitch View Post
    He sent me an envelop full of stickers for correctly guessing the final score of the SuperBowl in his contest thread. I was sitting at the dinner table with Mrs NoSwitch emptying out the envelope looking at the stickers and out drops his yearbook photo.. Wife's like "what the hell is that for??" So I sez "aww he probably just grabbed a handful of stuff out of a drawer not realizing the photo was also in there" cause that's what I really thought about it. A few days later he shoots me a PM asking me "what do you think?""
    Quote Originally Posted by Pathtek4 View Post
    If the rest room doesn't have that paper seat to pull off the wall, I just hover above like a Ufo dumping Cosby kids into Lake Michigan.

  10. #10
    Active Member CrimsonGoalie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    GTA
    Posts
    311

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Andrew Jay View Post
    ^ What the fuck.
    in my defense, i was 15.
    --

    This is the title track from our first album, Victim in Pain, the song's also called Victim in Pain.

    "ALWAYS SKATE AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!! ...please"
    Andy Roy

  11. #11
    Global Moderator
    ben_larsen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Virginia
    Age
    28
    Posts
    3,841

    Default

    Story #2

    A friend's parents offered to take a group of us to dinner one night, we all went to Fudruckers (which I don't think exists anymore) and I got a chili dog... Everything was fine until we were almost to my friends house and I felt that feeling. I thought I could make it though, we pulled up to my friends house and I jumped out of the van and started to rush inside, as I was reaching for the front door, I lost it... shit myself.



    I just remembered a similar story though... me and a few friends were walking to a skate spot in our city, I was drinking a monster (which used to destroy my stomach) and we were in the middle of the field behind my high school (on a Saturday or Sunday) and I had to shit really badly. I realized a friend of mine lived just through the woods (probably a quarter mile away) so I dropped my stuff, asked my friends to grab it and sprinted to his house. I made it and started banging on the door, no answer, no cars in the drive way. So I tried the door, it was unlocked, so I went in and shit. He was in his bedroom and came downstairs after her heard the bathroom door close and after he found out what was happening thought it was hilarious. haha.

  12. #12
    3459'20"N, 10636'52"W
    NightRocker's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Greater Toronto Area
    Posts
    2,499

    Default

    So I was browsing this forum today (I'm at home sick) and I thought I was gonna produce the world's biggest fart and you know the rest...

  13. #13
    angry, young & beautiful
    HighVoltageSk8r's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    9,953

    Default

    you go to school on saturdays?
    any relationship that matters - a friendship, a family, a romance, a band - anything - is a perilous and fragile thing because along with all the amazing experiences and creations that can come from something so intimate and exhausting comes the possibility for things to crumble and shatter or whither and die. when that happens, it's easy to forget what was precious amidst all the disaster. we should always carry our history with us but never let it bury us.

  14. #14
    Gravity Slave Moderator
    NoSwitch's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    The Bull City
    Posts
    10,927

    Default

    This thread needs some rich media...


  15. #15
    Gravity Slave Moderator
    NoSwitch's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    The Bull City
    Posts
    10,927

    Default

    More from Trainspotting.


  16. #16
    Gravity Slave Moderator
    NoSwitch's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    The Bull City
    Posts
    10,927

    Default

    Dumb and Dumber

  17. #17
    3459'20"N, 10636'52"W
    NightRocker's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Greater Toronto Area
    Posts
    2,499

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by HighVoltageSk8r View Post
    you go to school on saturdays?
    No but I like to pretend I had to be somewhere because I have no life.

  18. #18
    Escapist
    SkateboardG's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Washington D.C.
    Age
    28
    Posts
    4,923

    Default

    My morning farts could move mountains. I think I almost had a miscarriage yesterday.

  19. #19
    Global Moderator
    ben_larsen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Virginia
    Age
    28
    Posts
    3,841

    Default

    This one time around spring last year me and a few friends went to Chipotle for dinner and then we decided to go skate this spot afterwards... Once I got to the spot I started setting up my camera to film and then I realized I had to shit really badly, like now... So I looked around and we were basically at this big baseball field and all the port-a-potties were inside the locked gate and no other buildings were nearby. I thought about taking my friends car to a nearby fast food place or something but I couldn't make it. So I had to shit in the parking lot of this place, it was disgusting... I lost a sock that day...

  20. #20
    Gravity Slave Moderator
    NoSwitch's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    The Bull City
    Posts
    10,927

    Default

    So here's the opposite problem. Went on a two day hike with my kid's boy scout troop and standard protocol is a shovel and roll of TP kept in a zip lock bag. Twice I snuck away out behind some trees, dug a hole and squatted over it only to be shut out. Really aggravating to go to all that work for nothing! Perhaps next time I will try a "shit first and bury it later" strategy.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •