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Thread: Post your random thought.

  1. #59921
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    I absolutely had PTSD when I was still living in NC. Any time I heard any loud noise whatsoever from outside my bedroom sent me into a near panic attack. Hearing any sound resembling a woman yelling or screaming sent me into a full panic attack, even if it was just someone watching tv in the other room. Any time I smelled certain smells or drove past certain sights, there goes another one. My whole and entire environment had become a trigger in itself and I was in a misery I couldn't get out of. I started getting grey hair at age 23 and it's not genetics. lol. Ever since I left that house and moved out here to AZ, i look five years younger. in 10 months my grey has gone almost all the way back to color, i look at photos from last year and can see i was literally starting to wrinkle some already. I got to AZ and some of the new folks literally thought I was in my mid to late 30's, despite only being 24 at the time. PTSD can be a hell of a thing.

    My current episode of hating my life is unrelated to that, though. I just don't have good relationships with anyone in my life, at all. My family relationships aren't good, most of my friends won't hold a conversation with me anymore, any kind of remote romantic interest i start developing I then find out i'm just option #4/a time filler for the moment. Pretty much any human relationship i've ever had has gone mad south and I'm fucking over it. I'm tired of feeling emotions, I'm tired of giving a shit about anyone else, I'd trade all of it away for fuckin free. I have no interest in ever feeling anything again if it means I have to continuously go through this shit.

    Just in a rut, i guess. Everyone ignore me.
    Last edited by Shorty's_Kid; 07-03-2018 at 05:01 AM.

  2. #59922
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    You know dude the rest of what you are describing sounds symptomatic too. I'm not being an asshole but disconnection, self sabotage, shitty relationships with others etc. I've been taking looks at friendships I've had to cut loose because I realized that they were toxic. More often than not these people weren't looking for friends they were looking for enablers. When I reached my fill they all went south.
    "Before diagnosing yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not just surrounded by assholes," William Gibson

    I'm trying to be more Zen. What is the sound of me not giving a fuck?

    C/S,
    Rev J

  3. #59923
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    Trevor, you've got us. I consider you a friend. Also, I noticed you were pretty floored when you lost your pet bird. Perhaps it's time for a new furry or feathered companion?

  4. #59924
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    Face reveal, i'm actually the crimson ghost.




    But really, the mom got it for me from work. Itll go well with my red leather once winter rolls around.


    Happy Freedom Day.

  5. #59925
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    Should wear that to the ANTIFA party hahaha..


  6. #59926
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    I'm not a fan of riots and attacking innocent people. So ill have to pass on Antifa.

    Its hard to be on facebook around this time of year. The constant complaining about fireworks being shot off after 9pm is mind boggling. People who cant sleep through a few fireworks must have some real trouble when it storms out.

  7. #59927
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    Quote Originally Posted by Demon View Post
    I'm not a fan of riots and attacking innocent people. So ill have to pass on Antifa.

    Its hard to be on facebook around this time of year. The constant complaining about fireworks being shot off after 9pm is mind boggling. People who cant sleep through a few fireworks must have some real trouble when it storms out.
    Ya, practically every us military member past and present has seen combat now. Lots of PTSD around but I still think as long as they are sober they should know that it's just fireworks but what do I know. My dad died from PTSD related illness and he still was fine with buying me fireworks when I was a teen. He just wasn't keen on being around them beyond that... And his expertise was ARTILLERY and missile guidance systems.

    As far as I know, ANTIFA only attacks Nazis and those associating with racist and anti gay protesters. I have no problem with someone getting punched in the face for expressing intolerant, racist, or homophobic "free speech". I only have a problem with the US Government telling people what they can or can not say. I have NO problem with how private citizens react to and sanction that "free speech". Should an aggressor who initiates violence be arrested for it? Absolutely! Do I feel sorry for the victim if they are attacked for supporting racism or other white supremacist views? Hell no!

  8. #59928
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    My country stands as a shining beacon of freedom, for those lost, forlorn, or hurt by their home countries. My ancestors came here to escape political turmoil and persecution, and I try to empathize with those who are so desperate for freedom that they can't commit the time to doing things "the right way," because any delay in action means risking their lives (at the hands of warlords or violent drug cartels). I can't imagine the heartbreak that must come from leaving your livelihood, your family, all of your belongings, for the smallest chance to live in the greatest country on Earth. We're not there right now, in 2018, but we're working on it. You talk about making America great again? Good, me too...but my American greatness is that glimmer of hope, the idea that all men are created equal, and that I've been busting my ass since age 18 to have a better life than my parents (thus far, it hasn't been working).

    Give me your tired, your poor,
    Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
    The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
    Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
    I lift my lamp beside the golden door!


  9. #59929
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    Back when my ancestors came over.. and really up through the 70s it was WAY easier to immigrate here legally. The "go back and get in line" ... "don't break the law".. objections fall hollow when the reality is that only people with deep pockets and/or corporate/educational sponsorship have any prayer of entering and staying "legally". Change the laws (back) to create legal ways for these folks who want to work and pay taxes are able to come in legally and do so.. End the practice of making their only viable alternative to enter illegally or overstay travel visas.. which is the way the vast majority if illegal immigrants actually come in. A higher wall won't stop air travel..

  10. #59930
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    Quote Originally Posted by NoSwitch View Post
    Ya, practically every us military member past and present has seen combat now. Lots of PTSD around but I still think as long as they are sober they should know that it's just fireworks but what do I know. My dad died from PTSD related illness and he still was fine with buying me fireworks when I was a teen. He just wasn't keen on being around them beyond that... And his expertise was ARTILLERY and missile guidance systems.

    As far as I know, ANTIFA only attacks Nazis and those associating with racist and anti gay protesters. I have no problem with someone getting punched in the face for expressing intolerant, racist, or homophobic "free speech". I only have a problem with the US Government telling people what they can or can not say. I have NO problem with how private citizens react to and sanction that "free speech". Should an aggressor who initiates violence be arrested for it? Absolutely! Do I feel sorry for the victim if they are attacked for supporting racism or other white supremacist views? Hell no!
    No, Antifa is basically a terrorist organization at this point. They've incited plenty of actual riots and attack those THEY deem "nazis". That doesnt mean they attack actual nazis. One of them just got knocked the fuck out because he was attacking an innocent civilian with a baton. Dude one shot the guy with his fist and hes now got brain damage.

  11. #59931
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    Quote Originally Posted by Demon View Post
    No, Antifa is basically a terrorist organization at this point. They've incited plenty of actual riots and attack those THEY deem "nazis". That doesnt mean they attack actual nazis. One of them just got knocked the fuck out because he was attacking an innocent civilian with a baton. Dude one shot the guy with his fist and hes now got brain damage.
    Pales in comparison to white supremacist. Got any documentation supporting your claims they are intentionally attacking bystanders? Pretty sure none of them are driving cars in to crowds.

    https://www.independent.co.uk/news/w...-a8165416.html

  12. #59932
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    A lot of the time violence attributed to antifa is carried out by others. Anyone can put on that uniform. I know this because any time Milo Ynapolos, Ann Coulter, Ben Shapiro, etc speak at UC Berkeley.you see cops.out in full riot gear. But most of the fires and window dropping comes from faculty of other colleges.

    About 2 blocks from where I live is Oakland. Which for 30 some odd years has been on the list of top10 most dangerous cities in America. Every time there is a Black Lives Matter protest it turns violent. There was actually an incident where someone was trying to incite violence at a protest and was tackled as he was getting ready to drop a window. The guys broke his nose and gave him a concussion. It turns out that the guy who was going to drop the window was an undercover cop.
    "Before diagnosing yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not just surrounded by assholes," William Gibson

    I'm trying to be more Zen. What is the sound of me not giving a fuck?

    C/S,
    Rev J

  13. #59933
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shorty's_Kid View Post
    I absolutely had PTSD when I was still living in NC. Any time I heard any loud noise whatsoever from outside my bedroom sent me into a near panic attack. Hearing any sound resembling a woman yelling or screaming sent me into a full panic attack, even if it was just someone watching tv in the other room. Any time I smelled certain smells or drove past certain sights, there goes another one. My whole and entire environment had become a trigger in itself and I was in a misery I couldn't get out of. I started getting grey hair at age 23 and it's not genetics. lol. Ever since I left that house and moved out here to AZ, i look five years younger. in 10 months my grey has gone almost all the way back to color, i look at photos from last year and can see i was literally starting to wrinkle some already. I got to AZ and some of the new folks literally thought I was in my mid to late 30's, despite only being 24 at the time. PTSD can be a hell of a thing.

    My current episode of hating my life is unrelated to that, though. I just don't have good relationships with anyone in my life, at all. My family relationships aren't good, most of my friends won't hold a conversation with me anymore, any kind of remote romantic interest i start developing I then find out i'm just option #4/a time filler for the moment. Pretty much any human relationship i've ever had has gone mad south and I'm fucking over it. I'm tired of feeling emotions, I'm tired of giving a shit about anyone else, I'd trade all of it away for fuckin free. I have no interest in ever feeling anything again if it means I have to continuously go through this shit.

    Just in a rut, i guess. Everyone ignore me.

    I hope that turns around for you, you're a good dude and deserve to be happy. Keep your head up man, things will turn around for you.


    We may not know what skateboarding is
    But we sure as hell know what it aint
    Wait we know what it is now too -
    Falling down and gettin back up

  14. #59934
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    I smell a toy line. Coming this Christmas "Clockwork Elves".
    "Before diagnosing yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not just surrounded by assholes," William Gibson

    I'm trying to be more Zen. What is the sound of me not giving a fuck?

    C/S,
    Rev J

  15. #59935
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rev J View Post


    I smell a toy line. Coming this Christmas "Clockwork Elves".

  16. #59936
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    https://imgur.com/gallery/nbAIV
    https://imgur.com/gallery/uAyv6
    https://imgur.com/gallery/rx9A8
    https://imgur.com/gallery/RjNjw

    Have I posted these yet? They're not my boards, but they're pictures I've collected of some cool, old, or rare boards

  17. #59937
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    Quote Originally Posted by rockst*r View Post
    https://imgur.com/gallery/nbAIV
    https://imgur.com/gallery/uAyv6
    https://imgur.com/gallery/rx9A8
    https://imgur.com/gallery/RjNjw

    Have I posted these yet? They're not my boards, but they're pictures I've collected of some cool, old, or rare boards
    Sweet!

  18. #59938
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    Quote Originally Posted by rockst*r View Post
    https://imgur.com/gallery/nbAIV
    https://imgur.com/gallery/uAyv6
    https://imgur.com/gallery/rx9A8
    https://imgur.com/gallery/RjNjw

    Have I posted these yet? They're not my boards, but they're pictures I've collected of some cool, old, or rare boards

    I actually have an autographed Almost Rodney Mullen "Mutt" reissue freestyle deck in shrink wrap on my wall.

    Unrelated:

    Now here's an alarming fact. State run organizations don't have to play by the same pay rules as everyone else. Here's my example. I am paid by a state run organization that pays me $12.50 an hour. Minimum wage in Berkeley is $13.25. Essentially that means that I make less than minimum wage. If I were to work more than 62 hours a week I would then be penalized. On top of that no benefits. A high school kid flipping burgers makes more money per hour than I do.
    "Before diagnosing yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not just surrounded by assholes," William Gibson

    I'm trying to be more Zen. What is the sound of me not giving a fuck?

    C/S,
    Rev J

  19. #59939
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    God, not to be a downer but the last week has been shitty! Last week we came home and found our rabbit had died, he was a huge friendly guy. More of a dog than rabbit. He was only 3 years old so it was very unexpected. Then the next day I found our neighbor's (also very good friend's) cat out in our yard crying, I'll leave out some gross details but he was very sick so we took care of him until his owners could get home and they had to put him down, he was 18. Then the next day a bird flew into our front glass door and broke it's neck while my wife was looking out the window. Then this morning my sister called and told me her boxer died last night, my parents got him in 2005 as a tiny puppy and then when my sister and I moved out she took him with her and has had him for the last 5 years or so. Also, her bearded dragon is really sick and she'll likely have to put him down in the next couple days.

    Just doesn't seem to end!

  20. #59940
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    We were swimming in our new pool last week, and something smelled off...thought it was maybe a chemical imbalance, or maybe a mouse had died in the landscaping nearby. Well, I was out mowing the lawn last night, and just about jumped outta my skin when I saw a dead possum in a tree. I finished up, put the mower away, and grabbed my shovel to clean up the possum. Except, it wasn't a possum...it was a ferret. Slinky body, furry tail, pink nose and ears...and it wasn't just stuck in a tree, its head was tied to a branch with kite string.

    What the fuck kind of satanist, serial killer psychopath breaks into someone else's backyard to tie their ferret to a tree?

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